THE THREE CHOICES WE CAN MAKE WHEN WE REALIZE IT'S TIME TO GO
When we realize we're outgrowing a situation, we have only three choices we can make.
The first choice, is to pretend to unsee what you've seen - to try to Make Yourself Smaller. To cut off parts of who you really are so you can force yourself back into that role, relationship, or place that once felt so good. You can crunch yourself into that little box that defines who you are to the people outside. It feels safe in this box. Nevermind that you are suffering. Nevermind that you are cramped. Nevermind that this choice crushes your spirit and suffocates your power.
You could, instead of Making Yourself Smaller and allowing parts of yourself to die, choose to step into the immensity of who you are, who you are becoming, who you are meant to be, and Rise to the Occasion. You could stand fully, unapologetically in your power and live up to who you really are.
You can choose to move forward in grace, love, and strength - even if you don't know what will happen next.
We stay in jobs too long sometimes. We often over-identify with our work to the point that we don't know who we would be without it. We might give so much to our work that we have nothing left for ourselves - and that leaves us in a place of not knowing how to move forward - even when we know, deep inside, that it's time to move on.
Our relationships are important to us - so important, that sometimes, we allow them to carry on long after we have outgrown them. We stay because we're afraid of what might happen to us or the other person if we leave. We stay because we don't want to hurt anybody. Meanwhile, our staying keeps all parties unsatisfied - when we aren't wholeheartedly there.
We are part of families, religious communities, and other tribes that allow us to feel as though we belong. But what happens when we stop feeling that belonging and it slowly turns to a creeping sense of isolation? What happens when our beliefs no longer align with those of our people? When we don't allow ourselves to evolve beyond group membership, we stagnate - and the community suffers.
WHAT WE USUALLY CHOOSE
Choosing Not to Choose is probably the most common thing we do. We give our power away in hopes that we don't have to be the ones responsible for "breaking" something. After all, quitting is a failure, we are told by our culture. "Quitters never win," we remember. And so, we wait.
When we make the choice to leave - and it feels like we've never been so free!
When someone else chooses for us, and we get bruised on the way out.
When we think we hit rock bottom - but we have further to go.
The in-between place where we learn who we really are.
TAKE OFF THE MASKS
Hi! I'm Sarai.
Over the past four years, I've left just about everything I once thought defined me as a person. I left my nonprofit career, my marriage, my faith community, my religion. I left behind every concept of myself I once held. I let go of all the externals and allowed my true self to emerge from the ashes of what I had burned down in my life.
In this experience, I observed the phases I went through. I recognized them as something universal - an opportunity to transform, and a way to become our complete and lively selves as we allowed the process of leaving to do its work.
I'm sharing this work with you because I am committed to freedom, liberation, and self-determination, and I want you to be able to remove the masks and scripts that hold you back so you can move forward in your life to be the immense, magnificent person you are meant to be.